Time

When we first bought this house I thought we would probably never leave it.  In fact we have lived here for over ten years now.  But now.  Now I want to live out in the country.  I want to wake to feeding livestock and hearing their sounds, not the sounds of cars and airplanes and the small confines of a backyard garden.

But now we wait.  We wait to find out which agent we feel comfortable with, we wait for the people to come look, we wait for the inspections and paper work.  We may wait more than a year.

Before today I thought we might have to wait six months at the most.

I thought I could start looking for a new house once I got it listed but instead I may be forced to wait until we get it sold.  That hurts.

So now, I guess I will start planning my garden here again.  Unpack the winter clothes. And get used to living for awhile in a home that has no pictures on the walls.

Fall Harvest

Amazing load of tomatoes in from the garden.  I decided to pick all the large green ones to try and let them ripen inside since they hadn't ripened in the last week.  I didn't want them caught out in a frost.  I left the smaller tomatoes thinking maybe they will grow and ripen now that the plants aren't having to support all of these.  I didn't realize I had this many!

I picked some tomatillos also but I haven't begun my salsa experiment with them yet.  Also got a broccoli head and it was very good!  I hope they produce more.

Started calling agents to see about getting the house up for sale.  Big step.  Excited and scared.

Hopefully we can get the car traded in today for something with better gas mileage (nothing wrong with the malibu just it doesn't get the mileage we would like for when we move and hour out).  I hope we can get a ford focus.  The one we had before was a good little car and I think Rob kind of likes them.

I think everything is going to start coming to a head in the next week.  And then October and my favorite holiday.  Spirits up, claws dug in. FILDI

ARRRrrrrrrr!!!

Happy Talk Like a Pirate Day!

In other news: Dentist is done.  Don't want to talk or think about it again....

House is getting closer and closer to being ready to sell.  I thought maybe I would have it done in the beginning of September but now I am seeing I will probably have it done at the end of the month.

Garden is still producing.  I got two watermelons, one of which I had to pick because it split open - basically grew too big for its britches.  TONS of tomatoes on the vines, just hoping they ripen before the frost.

Ow

I hate dentist. Necessary Evil.

Unrest

Edit: Image created by jollyjack

Moment of Silence

listen

Sometimes you can try your best to help someone and it doesn't matter.  They either don't care, don't want to hear it, or think they are right.  It doesn't matter how nice or how much you do or how much evidence you show.

And no matter how much you care or think you can make a difference, sometimes you just have to take a breath and let it go.  If there isn't a reason for them to try and you have tried and tried and tried, eventually you just have to cut your losses.

Losses? Looses?  whatever.

Sometimes language bothers me and I have to just accept the fact that I don't remember all the rules and hope that those around me get the gist.

... I hope that's a word.

It is: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gist?s=t

gist

noun

1.

the main or essential part of a matter: What was the gist of his speech?

2.

the ground of a legal action.

 

Back to the subject... Which is basically to convince myself to stop caring.  That is difficult.

 

Is it right to give up on someone?  Does it depend on how much it would affect their life, your life and those around you?

 

Sometimes I hate these questions. 

Try

The attempt of something is sometimes not always enough.  Sometimes you have to keep trying.  Maybe there is a fumble, a trip, a fall, but then there is the continuing on.  That is the victory, the continuation.  The goal is still there, and yet that goal still isn't the end.  The journey, the try of day to day life keeps happening.  And there is a raw beauty in that, a basic instinctual kinship among people.

So we keep trying and we keep struggling.  Maybe not to do it exactly right but to keep getting better.  No matter who you are or what you do, there is always that next step and all you have to do is take it. And then the next.  And the next.

Soon you will see you are closer to what you want and further from where you were, and there will be a moment of pleasure.  A sigh of relief and a weight lifted from your shoulders.  And then ... then you put your head back down, lean into that harness and keep pulling.

If you have that try, congratulations you are alive.