Co-workers

So I finished the west side of the fence line.  I had two co-workers with me but they weren't much help.

Jethro and Gibbs went out with me and stayed with me the whole time I was out there.  Then they followed me home.  They were good for entertainment when I took a few breaks.

This is the north view from the end of our property, towards the cow pasture.  This is the west corner.

 Hard to see what exactly I cleared here but this is facing south back towards the house.

Crochet Therapy

So a bout of anxiety ended the job at the factory.



Been working on my crochet this week to keep my mind occupied.  Also been looking at more information about what I have, or think I have.  I don't recall ever being told exactly what my diagnosis was, which had lead me to just call it depression.  But I do recall the new insurance not covering my psychologist because it was coded as borderline personality disorder.  Which seemed really odd.



Anyways found some videos that might explain more about it.  At the same time it reminds me of the "fortune telling" trick of making general statements and the person saying, "Yeah that happened, is happening, or will happen."  For example, going on a trip, a death in the family, something happened that made you sad.



I really wanted to just work through the winter to get some extra cash and get myself out more.  I have been noticing more bad days this year, and I am worried that the medicine may not be as effective.  And as disappointed in myself as I am for failing, I have to pick myself up and try something else.



Which is where the crochet is coming in.  Video games helped with the focusing of the mind too, basically so I didn't wig myself out with my own thoughts.  But crochet seems to work as long as I have something to listen to also.  (Ancient Aliens is plenty mindless enough)

Finally got this to link.

2nd shift

I never want to smell Hawaiian punch again.  Or whatever it is that you want to call the Hawaiian scent in the aerosol can.  Because I had to smell it for 10 hours last night.

Yeah, I got a factory job.

Wanted to complete a week there before I mentioned anything.  Working 4 days a week at night for 10 hours.  Its not too bad for me, except for the standing for 10 hours.  But I will be getting some insoles now to help with that.

I like that I don't have to deal with the public, and really there isn't much talking because the machines are so loud and we have to wear ear (and eye) protection.  The only thing I couldn't wrap my mind around was grabbing three cans in each hand to put them in the box.  You would think it is a simple thing, but no.  For whatever reason my coordination would just fail.  That was the first day.  The next three days they put me on a different line to make  sure the valves were placed correctly etc in the cans.  That went much better.

So I may not be posting a whole lot this winter at least.  My original plan was to have a job during the winter, but maybe I will stay on longer.  I'm not sure how it will all work out as I am just hired now through a temp agency, so I am not going to worry about it until March rolls around.

film at 11

The new, awesome, super exciting video of fence line clearing!!!

*cue audience approval*

Also the large hunk of metal (I would almost call it an engine block) that was stuck in the ground where the wet weather creek is.

Back to work

Started clearing the fence line again.  I just have the west and south side to clear.  The west side will be around 1000 feet, and the south side is 200 feet and closest to the house and is where the main gate will be.  I let the goats clear some of the shrubs for me and then I went in with the loppers and chainsaw and cleaned up the line I wanted.

You might be able to see one of the goats down at the end of the cleared part.

 In other news my five dollar Wal-Mart shoes finally gave up the ghost.  I only had them for 3 months maybe, but they were five bucks and just used around the farm really.  I tried gluing the sole back on, but it wouldn't hold.  Time to buy my next pair.

I think I prefer getting cheaper pairs of shoes than really nice expensive ones.  Cause for just around here I don't want to have to worry about tearing them up.  I love the ariat shoes that I used to get but they were around 100 dollars a pair, and while really comfortable and held up my feet really well on concrete, I didn't like that I tore them up while helping shingle a roof.  Basically the asphalt shingles sandpapered down the thread holding the tops of the shoes together.  I was very sad about that, and still used them around the farm for far longer than I needed to.

Also the persimmons are ripening.  I need to collect some and make some jam with them.  Right now the chickens and turkeys are scooping up what falls on the ground.

Fall

The leaves are turning, but they are mostly turning brown.  Because rain refuses to fall here.  It has been a more than a month since we have seen any measurable sort of rain.  I mean last this morning there was enough rain to make the deck wet but the ground showed little impact.  The dirt is hard and cracked and the grass is brown and brittle.

Went to the horse auction again, this time by myself.  I should have gone a little earlier as I didn't have enough time to wander the aisles to look at the horses like I wanted to.  But I enjoyed seeing the horses.  It still amazes me how cheap horses are now.  There was a 5 month old colt that went for $60.

I hope to have the fence up before winter and in the spring have enough money saved to get some more critters.  I do need to get a trailer though, so that may take precedence over more critters.

If I could get a horse I could train and then sell to someone for a profit that would help.  But I have no guarantee that it would work.  Just the belief that it would.  Sometimes that's all you have to go on.

The goats got out the other day.  I grabbed the grain bucket and was walking around the flatbed trailer to them but Godiva decided a straight line was the fastest way to the grain.

 Last weekend Allie took me to see the balloon glow in Forest Park.  This was the only balloon that got up, there was just too much wind for the others.  When we were leaving they blew the horn for the fires that heat up the air in the balloons.  They lit those torches off, but there were no balloons over them.  Maybe next year.  I doubt I will go again, just too much chaos and children running around screaming for me.

 Rags and Jethro are getting along.  They enjoy playing with each other.  Jethro's twin, Gibbs, is hanging around the garage.  But all he is getting from me is food, and maybe some cuddles, but no more inside pets!

Drama

So I freaked myself out last week.  Made a lot of people worry about me.  But everything turned out ok.

To those I worried, I apologize and I thank you for your kindness and concern.  I have learned a valuable lesson, don't post on facebook when having an anxiety attack.

What it comes down to is our cat Rags got very sick over the weekend and I took him to the vet on Monday.  The vet took great care of him, told me he was very sick and dehydrated.  This much I knew which is why I had taken him to the vet, but then she added that he had fleas.

Fleas?  I don't see any fleas in my house!

But when I went to the vet to pick him up, they showed me all the flea dirt, and he was covered in it.  Flea medication was applied to all critters in the house and flea powder to the carpet.

Rags gradually got better over the week, and at the end of it I released him from his quarantine room.  He was not plugged up (not able to urinate) a common problem with male cats, and once he started feeling better he started drinking again.  The vet still wants to check him for diabetes but I think he just got a virus, but I have been wrong before.  He had been spitting up a lot of saliva which is why he got dehydrated so badly.

On top of that, I was supposed to take Rags back to the vet the next day (Tuesday last week) but Rob's car went on the fritz.  At first we thought it was the transmission going because Rob said it was shifting roughly.  So he brought it home and took the truck.  I didn't take Rags to the vet because I didn't want to damage the transmission anymore, or get stuck on the side of the rode with him, if that was what it was.

So on top of a $300 vet bill, I was looking at a possible broken transmission.

Pay attention folks, this is when Mary enters meltdown mode.

Money worries freak me out.  Our very friendly, lovable, fluffy cat was sick and had fleas. I came unglued and posted on facebook about how horrible I was feeling, thinking there was no way out, thinking I had failed all my pets and maybe should take them out with me.

But no.  This was the sickness in my mind talking.  Sometimes I can stress myself out beyond the delicate balance my medication keeps me at.  And I have wonderful friends and family who care about me and wanted to help.

Anyways, Rags got better.  We got the computer code for the car checked and found out it was a vacuum problem.  A good dusting out of the air filter (yeah it was bad) and the car runs fine.

So that was the cause of all the drama.  I have learned a valuable lesson.  And the world spins on.

I was going to post about fall and the trees turning etc.  Maybe next time, this post ran long.