Well the depression/anxiety/pudding brain hit me hard this week. After Dad left I planned to take a day to relax and then get back to work. I haven't done anything since he left.
The fear is crippling and there is no reason for it, I just don't want to go outside. The resulting anger and sadness just doubles up on top of it and it all snowballs into a bigger mess in my brain than I can deal with. I know it is a simple matter of realizing that it is just chemicals or hormones or whatever making me feel this way and I can physically go out and do things. But it is traumatizing. And I hate it.
I haven't had a week like this in a long time. Not since I got my medicine. I've had a few days of this before while on my medicine but it usually comes back to normal. At least normal for me.
I know it will pass, but the frustration of my brain releasing me to do what I want is agony. So for now I am stuck behind this wall until it crumbles enough and I can Kool-Aide man through it.
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