Friendship takes work.
It requires more than just the occasional "like" on facebook, or playing games online. It takes more than occasionally seeing each other.
It takes more than chatting at a gathering of a mutual acquaintance. The sporadic text messages won't keep it alive, or even a hand-written note.
It takes having fun together, the same likes, occasional arguments and being truthful. It takes helping each other out, even if it means just listening to complaints.
I suck at these things. I don't keep in "real" contact with people. And most of the time I am ok with this, it is how I am, and most people who know me accept it.
But there are times when I wonder why I don't have more friends I can just call up to chat. When I look at my life and find it very empty of the "group of girlfriends" or "the gang of bar hopping friends". But I don't drink, I don't like crowds, I don't like shopping, and I find people in general irritants at best. Call me cat-like in that sense.
But when I do get lonely for a friend, a girl friend that I can associate with I have limited options. In fact, just one. I am grateful for her, but I wonder if have more, even just one or two more, wouldn't be better for me.
And at the same time, that takes work. And weeding out the flakes. And actually going out into the world and looking for someone also wanting another friend. And understands my intense dislike of children.
It isn't that Rob isn't available or I couldn't call my mom. Just, someone different.
Maybe this is why I gravitate towards animals so much. They are available all the time for me. I care for them, and when I need them I can cuddle with them. Hold a paw, tell them my fears, and not worry about judgement.
Course I am on my period and my hormones are playing hell with my emotions.
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